From
the Pope to Joe Average working the Drive-thru window, everyone has
that negative voice in their head. You know, the one that pops up
from time to time and pokes at your weak spots:
- “Hey dummy! You’re not smart enough!”
- “Fatso, don’t bother trying to lose those pounds.”
- “Pssst. Here’s a secret: Everyone knows you’re not good enough to succeed”
The
voice might sound different- your mother-in-law, the bully from 4th
grade, or a mean ex-boss- but the goal is always the same: to knock
you down a peg and make you doubt yourself.
How
often you hear from your ‘inner critic’ and how it affects you
varies from person to person, but what’s important to realize is
that:
- You are normal.
- There is a simple way to turn down the volume on the negative chatter.
Are
You Your Brain?
Of
course not! While this may seem like an obvious answer, it’s
actually a very important concept to consider when taking on internal
doubts.
Your
brain is of course the control center of your thoughts, behaviors and
emotions. But it’s really just another organ in your body. The
brain is made of billions of cells that are connecting with each
other non-stop at lightning speed.
Every
time you have a positive thought, you reinforce that thought pattern,
but—and here is the crux of the matter—every time you have a
negative thought, you reinforce that thought pattern even
faster. But why?
Consider
the caveman. With large predators, poisonous animals and extreme
weather, the environment of early man was full of danger. So our
Neanderthal brains evolved to be on high alert for threats and
process them quickly. As a result, our modern brains are prone to
react to and absorb negative thoughts faster than positive ones.
That’s
why it’s important to realize that you ARE NOT your brain. By
making that distinction, you can give your brain a command that will
make you aware of when you are having a negative thought or emotion,
and have control of its effect on you.
When
those negative voices start to bombard you, sometimes it can be hard
to ignore them and stay positive. In fact, they can be downright
toxic, setting off a chain reaction that leaves you doubting all
areas of your life, work, or relationships.
So
how do you take control of these negative thoughts and reframe them?
With these 3 steps:
- Become aware of the negative thought or emotion
Often,
these negative voices seem to slip in through your subconscious. By
simply taking a minute and consciously acknowledging each time you
hear the voice, you are becoming aware of it, which can minimize its
negative effect. It also allows you to take the next step.
- Surrender to the negative thought and release it
Now
that you are aware of this negative thought, you can surrender to it.
That may sound strange, but it doesn’t mean giving up. In fact,
surrendering means you are allowing the negative thought to happen
without the emotional attachment. This is essential. When you
are able to accept the negative thought and let it flow by without
engaging in its negative energy, then you can use the magic word:
Next!
By
saying the command “Next” to yourself each time you let the
negative thought pass by, you can get your brain to move on to the
next thought or emotion.
- Refocus your thoughts on what you want to achieve, and take action
As
you build awareness of these negative voices and learn to surrender
and release them, then you can turn your mind towards what you really
want to focus on.
Whether
it’s the financial or health goals you have set for yourself, or
maybe the professional or personal ambitions that you want to
achieve, overcoming the negative thoughts and emotions that have held
you back can empower you with the energy and drive to take
action accordingly!
Like
any exercise, this takes practice. Focus on one step at a time.
First, work on simply building awareness of the negative voice. Each
time you do, the emotional power of the voice will fade away little
by little. Then you can surrender to it fully and release it.
Finally, you will be able to shift your focus to your goals and how
you will achieve them.
The
three steps to reframe a negative thought are:
- Become aware of the negative thought or emotion;
- Surrender to it, by allowing it to happen, and release it by saying the word “Next!”
- Refocus your thoughts on what you want to achieve, and take action.
Do
this consistently and you will find your control over your thoughts
and emotions rapidly increasing, followed closely by an upward spiral
in motivation, happiness, and an automatic boost in positive
behaviors. Soon, the loudest voice in your head will be the one
yelling “Next!”
Article source: Neurogym
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