Personal Change by Making the Unconscious Conscious

Ever heard yourself or a friend say something like this -- "He tried to make me look bad, and I totally went 'off.' I don't know what happened. I just snapped." Or before you realized it, you had rolled your eyes, slumped your shoulders or stomped off angry because of something someone said or did. Unconscious responses like these tend to drive our behavior or thoughts, robbing us of the opportunity to make a conscious choice.

Neuroscientists believe that 95% of our mental functioning is subconscious. Our habitual responses and behaviors/thinking associated with beliefs, judgements and assumptions reside in the domain of the subconscious, which means these responses, thoughts and behaviors happen outside our conscious awareness at a level below our consciousness. So if you are seeking to change behavior and thinking that is not serving you, you have to become aware of your subconscious drivers.

Awareness of your automatic behaviors/responses can provide a springboard from which you can implement change if you choose. Without awareness, lasting change is impossible because you can't change that which you are unaware. The question is how can we become aware of that which resides in or is dictated by our subconscious? It is possible to make the unconscious conscious by following 3 simple steps -- Stop, Ask, Probe. So the next time you find yourself rolling your eyes in response to someone or something, stop and tune-in to what happened to trigger this response.

Step 1: Stop. We get so caught up in the execution of the doing or responding that we pay no attention to what we did or how. The first step to becoming aware is to stop and be still. Start to notice the things that you do or think regularly and automatically in response to a stimuli. Allow your nonjudgmental mind to be an observer of what's happening. Pretend you have a special mirror that follows you around. This mirror not only allows you to look at what's happening with you externally, but it also allows you to witness what's happening on the inside as well, down deep into your innermost thoughts.

Take the time in the midst of your doing and thinking, to notice what you see, hear and feel coming into your consciousness. See with an eye seeking new perspective; listen with an ear of curiosity; feel with an open and unburdened heart. You get to become a witness of your thoughts, behaviors and feelings. As with any witness, there is no judgment attached to what you perceive. You are simply observing the facts - what you see, feel, and think. Don't worry about "why" at this point. In a later article, we will discuss what to do with all these discoveries you are beginning to uncover now.

Step 2: Ask questions and let go of thinking you KNOW the answer. Ask yourself, "What am I feeling?" "What am I doing?"or "What did I do?" "What am I thinking." "What was my first reaction, thought, feeling to the stimuli." Getting to these answers may not be easy or painless, but there is power in both the question and the search for the answer.

Step 3: Probe deeper. Shh - listen! Tune in to those voices in your head -- the inner critic and the wee small voice. What are they saying? I call these voices the sparring yin and yang of my conscious. The one is ordering me to do something or berating me because I did or did not do something. The wee small voice, my voice of reason, often points me in the direction of reason and truth. Take the time to examine what you hear, and you will begin to uncover the triggers that thrust you into your regular and automatic responses. Knowing your triggers give you the power to stop the automatic or habitual response. So the next time you perceive that someone is trying to make you "look bad," you can choose your response rather than going on autopilot.

There is a lot of literature discussing the power of positive thinking and positive self-talk as ways to change behavior or break habits. While these techniques may lead to meaningful change for some, for most of us, lasting change comes by becoming aware (conscious) of our subconscious behavior, thoughts and beliefs. I challenge you to let go of what you think you know and begin to discover what makes you tick by becoming aware of what you do and when.

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